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Parodies |
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In our infinite wisdom, we at CheerReader thought it would be fun to include some parodies in our pages. It's still early days in the development of this one, but please feel free to send us any that you may have to submissions@cheerreader.co.uk . If you're sending a song, please try to include a link to the music so that our readers can have their very own karaoke!
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Tesco Can of Tuna (Hotel California)
(Find the music here and sing along!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4pclo5M9XI&ob=av2n On a dark rainy Monday, I needed gel for my hair Warm smell of cooked chickens, rising up through the air Up ahead in the distance, I saw a till’s flashing light My basket grew heavy and my sight grew dim I don’t like shopping tonight There she stood right in my way Just in front of the gel And I was thinking to myself “Should I just ask this shelf stacking girl?” She stopped pricing the candles and she showed me the way They brought boxes from the corridor I thought I heard her say... Welcome to the Tesco can of tuna Or would you like some plaice (Some nice fresh plaice) We have lovely plaice Plenty of fish in a can of Tesco tuna Any time of year (Any time of year) You can find it here It’s much better than skipjack, it’s the Mercedes Benz You can mix it with a lot of mayonnaise to impress friends Or sprinkle on some chilli powder, but it will make you sweat Some tuna you remember, some tuna you forget This was caught by the captain It goes well with red wine She said, “We haven’t stocked this tuna here since nineteen sixty-nine” This tuna was line caught from so far away Great for a sarnie in the middle of the night Then I heard her say... Get club points with the Tesco can of tuna Or would you like some plaice (Some nice fresh plaice) We have lovely plaice Plenty of fish in a can of Tesco tuna What a nice surprise (What a nice surprise) Makes a change from pies Raised the tin to the ceiling This one in brine is really nice And she said, "You have got a bargain here, it’s just gone down in price" And at your dinner table They will gather for a feast They stab it with their steely knives Just to make sure it’s deceased Last thing I remember, I was Running round the store I had to find the passage back Just in case I needed more "Relax," said the store man "We are programmed to receive You can use any checkout you like But you must pay before you leave" Our thanks to Swampy Bob Fried Eggs on My Mind (Friday on My Mind) (Find the music here and sing along!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxF7tEryN3I Monday morning feel so bad Only having toast for breakfast Coming Tuesday, I have Marmite Even the coffee tasting good Wednesday eat some ham Thursday’s turn for spam I’ve got fried eggs on my mind It’s gonna happen in the kitchen Fry up two eggs, they’re just bitchin’ They taste good tonight They are out of sight to me Tonight – won’t slice no bread Tonight – have chips instead Tonight – I’ve got to get tonight Monday I have fried eggs on my mind Don’t want sausages no more Best back bacon really bugs me More than heating up a pizza Hey I’ll change that scene one day Omelettes make me mad Scrambled are so sad ‘cause I’ve got fried eggs on my mind It’s gonna happen in the kitchen Fry up two eggs, they’re just bitchin’ They taste good tonight They are out of sight to me Tonight – won’t slice no bread Tonight – have chips instead Tonight – I’ve got to get tonight Monday I have fried eggs on my mind It’s gonna happen in the kitchen Fry up two eggs, they’re just bitchin’ It’s gonna happen in the kitchen Fry up two eggs, they’re just bitchin’ Our thanks to Rob Evans Imagine (Find the music here and sing along!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCpBUClXp_c Imagine there's no Christmas, It's easy if you try, No sign of turkey, Nor even a mince pie, Imagine all nice people Getting lost today. Imagine there's no presents, It isn't hard to do, Nothing to get in debt for, And no children too, Imagine if all the people Let us live our life in peace. You may say I'm a humbug, But I'm not the only one, I hope some day you'll join us, And rid the world of Christmas fun. Imagine no relations, I wonder if you can, No need for drunken conflict, With brother, wife or gran, Imagine if all the people Banned Christmas from the world. You may say I'm a humbug, But I'm not the only one, I hope some day you'll join us, And rid the world of Christmas fun. Our thanks to Swampy Bob |
We're both in Gov by 2cc (Cameron & Clegg)
(Find the music here and sing along!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qKcQ7oMcX8 We’re both in Gov You all regret it The Coalition no one voted for And just because We screw things up Don't get us wrong Don't think we'll get it right We’re both in Gov, oh no It's a mess... We like to lie But then again We treat you all with such contempt So when we screw up Don't make a fuss Just tell your friends to vote for "the two of us" We’re both in Gov, oh no It's a mess... Spoken: Be quiet The coalition doesn’t work The coalition doesn’t work The coalition doesn’t work The coalition doesn't work The coalition doesn’t work The coalition doesn’t work You get the picture And that’s not all We’re like a nasty stain that’s lying there So don't you ask us To give up our jobs We know you know they mean a lot to us We’re both in Gov, oh no It's a mess... Ooh, you’re stuck a long time with us Ooh, you're stuck a long time Ooh, you're stuck a long time with us Ooh, you’re stuck a long time We’re both in Gov You all regret it The coalition no one voted for And just because We screw things up Don't get us wrong, Don't think we’ll get it right We’re both in Gov We’re both in Gov Our thanks to Rob Evans I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor NOT!) (Find the music here and sing along!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mf3ZGSgOJbY First I was afraid, I was petrified Kept thinking I could never go out coz I’d had my hair dyed But then I looked under my bed and found a hat I thought had gone I tried it on and I learned how to get along So now I’m back outside this place I took a bus right into town and didn't try and hide my face I could have locked myself away, I could have hid the fact I'm gay If I'd known for just one second that you didn't feel that way But here I am, I'm at the door Won't turn around now cos you don't want me anymore You hurt me really badly when you poked me in the eye Did I crumble when you hid my L’Oreal hair dye? Oh no not I, I will survive Oh as long as I know how to shop, I know I'll buy and buy I've got all my cards intact and I will shop to hell and back And I'll survive, I will survive (hey hey) (instrumental break) It took all the cash I had to look like a tart But I had to set the trend and not be a boring fart I spent so many nights online comfort shopping for myself I needed to buy a new colourful hair dye And now I'm out, I feel brand new No longer hiding in the closet lusting after you And so you ask me down the pub because you want to drink for free But now I'm saving all my loving for someone who's gay like me Go on now go, walk out the door And don't forget to take your new peroxide whore Don't even bother to turn around and try to say goodbye Cos I don't need you now I have my new L'Oreal hair dye Oh no not I, I will survive Oh as long as I know how to shop, I know I'll buy and buy I've got all my cards intact and I will shop to hell and back And I'll survive, I will survive (oh) Go on now go, walk out the door And don't forget to take your new peroxide whore Don't even bother to turn around and try to say goodbye Cos I don't need now you I have my new L'Oreal hair dye Oh no not I, I will survive Oh as long as I know how to shop, I know I'll buy and buy I've got all my cards intact and I will shop to hell and back And I'll survive, I will survive, I will survive... Our thanks to Swampy Bob |
This one's self explanatory.
Much better than the original.
No words needed.
