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2011 Comment Archive
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29/09/11
With the world economy on the brink of collapse, our Dave has shown his mettle and come out talking tough. Trouble is, it's about supermarket plastic bags. He describes the number being handed out to shoppers as "unacceptable". Furthermore, he has issued an ultimatum that if the supermarkets don't do something about it, he'll force them to by law. What a guy!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2043014/David-Cameron-warns-supermarkets-Cut-plastic-bags-forced-charge.html
29/09/11
Is it just me, or is José Manuel Barroso, President of the European Farm, getting to look more and more like Napoleon? As each day passes, it becomes more difficult to tell them apart, with his rotund features and little piggy spectacles.
28/09/11
Yesterday, Greek Prime Minister Mr Georgios A. Papandreou said, "I can guarantee that Greece will live up to all its commitments." And in other breaking news, Rihanna has joined the Order of Carmelite nuns.
26/09/11
As the situation in Greece gets worse, it's definitely a case of "if at first you don't succeed, Troika, Troika, Troika again".
17/09/11
I hear that Martin McGuinness is going to run for president of Ireland. Another killer move, Martin.
14/09/11
Amazon are planning to launch a book rental service in which customers pay an annual fee for access to a catalogue of ebooks. Shame they couldn't come up with a snappier titlle. I know, how about 'library'?
14/09/11
In yet another wonderful day for British justice, former bacon-and-other-related-products farmer Lord Hanningfield has been released after serving just two months of a nine month sentence for fiddling his parliamentary expenses. During his trial, this cowardly, porcine criminal claimed to have only done the same as 500 to 600 other porkers supping out of the trough in Westminister's upper sty. Obviously, some pig farmers are more equal than others.
09/09/11
Barack Obama has demanded that the Republicans back his new jobs plan and "stop the political circus". Now, that is something he knows about, having played the chief clown for the past three years.
08/09/11
Amazon is planning to set up locker banks in major retail centres to allow customers to collect items bought on line. Great idea, but didn't they used to be called shops?
08/09/11
In a telephone interview with shock jock Howard Stern in America, Simon Cowell talked about having once had a threesome with two girls. I'm surprised there was room in the bed next to him and his ego.
08/09/11
With the world economy on the brink of collapse, our Dave has shown his mettle and come out talking tough. Trouble is, it's about supermarket plastic bags. He describes the number being handed out to shoppers as "unacceptable". Furthermore, he has issued an ultimatum that if the supermarkets don't do something about it, he'll force them to by law. What a guy!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2043014/David-Cameron-warns-supermarkets-Cut-plastic-bags-forced-charge.html
29/09/11
Is it just me, or is José Manuel Barroso, President of the European Farm, getting to look more and more like Napoleon? As each day passes, it becomes more difficult to tell them apart, with his rotund features and little piggy spectacles.
28/09/11
Yesterday, Greek Prime Minister Mr Georgios A. Papandreou said, "I can guarantee that Greece will live up to all its commitments." And in other breaking news, Rihanna has joined the Order of Carmelite nuns.
26/09/11
As the situation in Greece gets worse, it's definitely a case of "if at first you don't succeed, Troika, Troika, Troika again".
17/09/11
I hear that Martin McGuinness is going to run for president of Ireland. Another killer move, Martin.
14/09/11
Amazon are planning to launch a book rental service in which customers pay an annual fee for access to a catalogue of ebooks. Shame they couldn't come up with a snappier titlle. I know, how about 'library'?
14/09/11
In yet another wonderful day for British justice, former bacon-and-other-related-products farmer Lord Hanningfield has been released after serving just two months of a nine month sentence for fiddling his parliamentary expenses. During his trial, this cowardly, porcine criminal claimed to have only done the same as 500 to 600 other porkers supping out of the trough in Westminister's upper sty. Obviously, some pig farmers are more equal than others.
09/09/11
Barack Obama has demanded that the Republicans back his new jobs plan and "stop the political circus". Now, that is something he knows about, having played the chief clown for the past three years.
08/09/11
Amazon is planning to set up locker banks in major retail centres to allow customers to collect items bought on line. Great idea, but didn't they used to be called shops?
08/09/11
In a telephone interview with shock jock Howard Stern in America, Simon Cowell talked about having once had a threesome with two girls. I'm surprised there was room in the bed next to him and his ego.
08/09/11
Robin Woodhead, Sotheby's international chaiman, is stepping out with TV's Anne Robinson. Nothing less than you'd expect from a man with an eye for antiques.
07/09/11
Commentators in Britain always seem to be complaining that D&G (Dave and George) do not have a Plan B when it comes to the economy. They should count their blessings, as the Eurozone, despite the input of all the hundreds of fatcats at the top table, doesn't even have a Plan A. Perhaps they see broth as just another vastly overvalued commodity, like the euro.
03/09/11
It's been revealed that there were 53 accidents in the UK's Health and Safety's 17 nationwide offices last year. One poor chap even suffered a groin strain after falling over a 'Caution: Wet Floor' sign. Hands up, who forgot to put out the 'Caution: "Caution: Wet Floor" Sign Ahead' sign?
26/08/11
Depardieu strikes again? - Scientists have found an underground river beneath the Amazon. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2030337/Scientists-underground-river-beneath-Amazon.html
25/08/11
I was thinking it was a pity that Gerard Depardieu was not one of the guests at Richard Branson's Necker Island retreat this week - he could have put out the flames single-handedly.
22/08/11
The German Chancellor (she of 'When Angie Met Nicky' fame) says that eurobonds are "exactly the wrong answer". Perhaps it would help if someone started asking "exactly the right questions".
22/08/11
Joe Biden says that he has been able 'to literally meet every major world leader in the last 38 years'. I bet they're all thrilled. Now,remind me again, who is he?
21/08/11
Friends of John Bercow, the House of Commons Speaker, say he is considering divorcing his wife Sally following her decision to appear on Z-lebrity Big Brother. The friends add that her behaviour has led to blazing rows which have made John ill and lose weight, although his diminutive stature leaves considerable doubt concerning the accuracy of the spelling of that last word.
19/08/11
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8712396/Three-women-shot-in-Newport-hairdressers.html
Now, that's what I call a bad hair day!
18/08/11
Yesterday, Gerard Depardieu was unhappy at being put off a flight from Paris to Dublin after he urinated on the floor of the aircraft before it took to the air. I suppose you could say that he was pissed off.
18/08/11
News that Sally Bercow, the House of Commons Speaker's wife, is to appear on C-lebrity Big Brother, or should I say Z-lebrity Big Brother, should come as no surprise as the only thing more inflated than her ego is this year's A-level results.
15/08/11
After the "fun and games" of last week, Dave has come striding out of his corner full of big promises to prevent the future repetition of such happenings. However, if his past record is anything to go by, all this "hot air" is just a device to keep his head floating on top of his shoulders given the heretofore proven paucity of vertebrae in his spinal column.
08/08/11
Barack Obama says that the USA has always been and always will be a triple-A country. And I'm just off to have a few slices of the moon on my cream crackers.
07/08/11
Convicted criminal and general lowlife Elliot Morley, the expenses-fiddling ex-MP, has been assaulted in jail and had his Rolex stolen. Sweet justice after his long-term mugging of the British taxpayer.
07/08/11
Luxury watch maker Tag Heuer has become the sixth major sponsor to drop Tiger Woods. I guess it was only a matter of time.
31/07/11
A new study from the University of Barcelona and the Spanish National Research Council says that drinking wine could help to stop sunburn. Not if it makes you forget where you put the suntan cream!
29/07/11
News that Apple now holds more cash than the US government comes as little surprise when you think that a Cox's Orange Pippin has more idea about running the economy than the present administration.
29/07/11
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8670520/Harry-Potter-dwarf-spared-jail-over-jugglers-hat-sex-act.html
An unusual story in which the dwarf "... performed a sex act under the cover of a juggler's hat" in front of a 17-year-old girl. What I don't understand is that if the dwarf was under the hat, how did the girl know he was there, let alone know what he was doing? Mind you, the judge obviously got into the spirit of things when he told the dwarf, "a relatively short sentence of imprisonment will not help you...".
22/07/11
Commentators in Britain always seem to be complaining that D&G (Dave and George) do not have a Plan B when it comes to the economy. They should count their blessings, as the Eurozone, despite the input of all the hundreds of fatcats at the top table, doesn't even have a Plan A. Perhaps they see broth as just another vastly overvalued commodity, like the euro.
03/09/11
It's been revealed that there were 53 accidents in the UK's Health and Safety's 17 nationwide offices last year. One poor chap even suffered a groin strain after falling over a 'Caution: Wet Floor' sign. Hands up, who forgot to put out the 'Caution: "Caution: Wet Floor" Sign Ahead' sign?
26/08/11
Depardieu strikes again? - Scientists have found an underground river beneath the Amazon. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2030337/Scientists-underground-river-beneath-Amazon.html
25/08/11
I was thinking it was a pity that Gerard Depardieu was not one of the guests at Richard Branson's Necker Island retreat this week - he could have put out the flames single-handedly.
22/08/11
The German Chancellor (she of 'When Angie Met Nicky' fame) says that eurobonds are "exactly the wrong answer". Perhaps it would help if someone started asking "exactly the right questions".
22/08/11
Joe Biden says that he has been able 'to literally meet every major world leader in the last 38 years'. I bet they're all thrilled. Now,remind me again, who is he?
21/08/11
Friends of John Bercow, the House of Commons Speaker, say he is considering divorcing his wife Sally following her decision to appear on Z-lebrity Big Brother. The friends add that her behaviour has led to blazing rows which have made John ill and lose weight, although his diminutive stature leaves considerable doubt concerning the accuracy of the spelling of that last word.
19/08/11
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8712396/Three-women-shot-in-Newport-hairdressers.html
Now, that's what I call a bad hair day!
18/08/11
Yesterday, Gerard Depardieu was unhappy at being put off a flight from Paris to Dublin after he urinated on the floor of the aircraft before it took to the air. I suppose you could say that he was pissed off.
18/08/11
News that Sally Bercow, the House of Commons Speaker's wife, is to appear on C-lebrity Big Brother, or should I say Z-lebrity Big Brother, should come as no surprise as the only thing more inflated than her ego is this year's A-level results.
15/08/11
After the "fun and games" of last week, Dave has come striding out of his corner full of big promises to prevent the future repetition of such happenings. However, if his past record is anything to go by, all this "hot air" is just a device to keep his head floating on top of his shoulders given the heretofore proven paucity of vertebrae in his spinal column.
08/08/11
Barack Obama says that the USA has always been and always will be a triple-A country. And I'm just off to have a few slices of the moon on my cream crackers.
07/08/11
Convicted criminal and general lowlife Elliot Morley, the expenses-fiddling ex-MP, has been assaulted in jail and had his Rolex stolen. Sweet justice after his long-term mugging of the British taxpayer.
07/08/11
Luxury watch maker Tag Heuer has become the sixth major sponsor to drop Tiger Woods. I guess it was only a matter of time.
31/07/11
A new study from the University of Barcelona and the Spanish National Research Council says that drinking wine could help to stop sunburn. Not if it makes you forget where you put the suntan cream!
29/07/11
News that Apple now holds more cash than the US government comes as little surprise when you think that a Cox's Orange Pippin has more idea about running the economy than the present administration.
29/07/11
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/8670520/Harry-Potter-dwarf-spared-jail-over-jugglers-hat-sex-act.html
An unusual story in which the dwarf "... performed a sex act under the cover of a juggler's hat" in front of a 17-year-old girl. What I don't understand is that if the dwarf was under the hat, how did the girl know he was there, let alone know what he was doing? Mind you, the judge obviously got into the spirit of things when he told the dwarf, "a relatively short sentence of imprisonment will not help you...".
22/07/11
I read that Celine Dion has had the parody website Ridiculous Pictures of Celine Dion closed down. Whilst most people think she is a parody, making the site somewhat redundant in the first place, thanks to her actions, the whole world now knows of the photos, which are easily googled. Definitely more of a divvy than a diva.
http://ridiculouspicturesofcelinedion.blogspot.com/
15/07/11
So Rebekah Brooks has finally resigned. Must have felt she could no longer hack it.
12/07/11
Nick Clegg's wife says that he's "killing himself" trying to balance his work and homelife. There's still hope, then.
12/07/11
Gordon Brown says that in 2006 he and his wife were reduced to tears after finding out that the Sun was going to publish a story about his son's medical condition. Nothing compared to the tears shed by the British public after you and your cronies had finished with them, Gordon.
05/07/11
A lot of people are puzzled that Simon Le Bon's voice problems have caused Duran Duran's European summer tour to be indefinitely postponed as it's never stopped him before.
05/07/11
According to a typically air-headed interview with Easy Living magazine, when self-obsessed Gwyneth Paltrow is not busy acting, singing, writing her own cookery books and guest-starring on Glee, she's a devoted mother to her two small children. I always wondered what she did with the remaining five minutes of her day.
05/07/11
And with the Greek situation still a hot topic, German Chancellor Angela Merkel has said that she trusts in the evaluations of the three institutions (the International Monetary Fund, the European Central Bank and the European Commission) that make up the Troika when it comes to specific procedures, rather than those of the rating agencies. Funny that, because given the fine job these institutions have done so far, the rest of us have more trust in the Troika of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.
01/07/11
An article in today's Daily Mail (hangs his head in shame) reports that the loudest creature on earth is a tiny insect that sings with its penis, and they're not talking about Nicolas Sarkozy or John Bercow, although the wife of the latter may well dispute this. The insect in question is the humble water boatman. For the full story, click on the link. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2010280/Water-boatman-Tiny-insect-sings-penis-loudest-creature-Earth.html
01/07/11
Thomson Airways are apparently launching an aircraft that is powered by cooking oil. A case of out of the frying pan and into the flyer?
So Rebekah Brooks has finally resigned. Must have felt she could no longer hack it.
12/07/11
Nick Clegg's wife says that he's "killing himself" trying to balance his work and homelife. There's still hope, then.
12/07/11
Gordon Brown says that in 2006 he and his wife were reduced to tears after finding out that the Sun was going to publish a story about his son's medical condition. Nothing compared to the tears shed by the British public after you and your cronies had finished with them, Gordon.
05/07/11
A lot of people are puzzled that Simon Le Bon's voice problems have caused Duran Duran's European summer tour to be indefinitely postponed as it's never stopped him before.
05/07/11
According to a typically air-headed interview with Easy Living magazine, when self-obsessed Gwyneth Paltrow is not busy acting, singing, writing her own cookery books and guest-starring on Glee, she's a devoted mother to her two small children. I always wondered what she did with the remaining five minutes of her day.
05/07/11
And with the Greek situation still a hot topic, German Chancellor Angela Merkel has said that she trusts in the evaluations of the three institutions (the International Monetary Fund, the European Central Bank and the European Commission) that make up the Troika when it comes to specific procedures, rather than those of the rating agencies. Funny that, because given the fine job these institutions have done so far, the rest of us have more trust in the Troika of Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.
01/07/11
An article in today's Daily Mail (hangs his head in shame) reports that the loudest creature on earth is a tiny insect that sings with its penis, and they're not talking about Nicolas Sarkozy or John Bercow, although the wife of the latter may well dispute this. The insect in question is the humble water boatman. For the full story, click on the link. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2010280/Water-boatman-Tiny-insect-sings-penis-loudest-creature-Earth.html
01/07/11
Thomson Airways are apparently launching an aircraft that is powered by cooking oil. A case of out of the frying pan and into the flyer?
